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Terrence nodded. “Your brothers and sisters are dying to meet you, but we convinced them it would be premature to mob you. And maybe we’re a little selfish. We’d like to have you to ourselves for a while before we have to share you.”
Goosebumps ran up his spine as the affection in his father’s and mother’s voices penetrated. He’d been loved. He still was loved. A year ago his life had been dreary and empty, filled only with erroneous information and Charlie’s false words.
Now, despite everything that had occurred, he felt a cautious bud of happiness unfurling in his heart. These people had loved him when he was a child, as much as any child could ever wish to be loved. The empty spaces inside him were empty no longer, filled by Nancy and now by these wonderful, generous parents he was just beginning to know.
He cleared his throat. “I’d like to see those photographs with you,” he told them. “I’d like to remember more about my life with you. I’d even like to meet your—the rest of my family.”
Nancy laughed, and he noticed there were tears in her eyes now, too. “Coming from Everett, that’s nothing less than a miracle. Groups of people aren’t usually his thing.”
He smiled. A real smile that felt natural. “She knows me too well. One or two at a time might be nice.”
Terrence chuckled. “Don’t blame you a bit.”
Leslie was searching his face. “I shouldn’t ask this, but…would you mind if I hugged you?”
His insides turned to a quivering mass of jelly. “Uh, no. I guess not.”
She had her arms around him almost before he’d finished the words. It felt weird and strange—and wonderful. Hesitantly, he lifted his own hands and patted her back as she sobbed against his shoulder. After a moment, he let himself hug her, a little shocked by how much he’d needed this. Then his father moved in to share the embrace, and he had to close his eyes against a strong wave of emotion. He’d longed for a real, loving family as a lonely little boy, and now he’d been handed one, despite all the trouble he’d helped cause. It was a miracle.
He looked over his mother’s head at his own personal miracle, and Nancy blew him a kiss.
He smiled. And blew one back.
“Nick?” Sydney forced herself to dredge up a light tone later that morning. After she was sure Danny had left her apartment earlier, she’d called in sick just before 8:00 a.m. Sooner or later she was going to have to start thinking about work again, but right now it was beyond her.
Pain burned, a searing inferno that incinerated her heart. He was right, and she couldn’t deny it. She had been dreaming of a life with him, even if she’d never let herself say it, or even think it. Even though he’d told her over and over that he didn’t have feelings for her, at least none that he was willing to admit to, she’d been so sure of the extraordinary bond growing between them that her heart had kept hope alive.
She couldn’t have been more wrong. Danny was returning to Hawaii. With Nick. Without her. A sob bubbled up and nearly escaped before she caught it. She meant nothing to him. Nothing more than a woman to whom he’d always be grateful for taking care of his son.
Grateful enough to offer her money. That thought brought a surge of anger flooding back. If he was that stupid, then she didn’t want him anyway.
Right, Sydney. If you say it often enough, maybe someday you’ll even believe it.
Her son looked up from the book of mazes he was diligently working his way through when she called his name. “Uh-huh?”
“I need to talk to you for a sec. Can you come here?”
Obediently, the little boy laid down his crayon and skipped across the floor, skidding into her lap in a dive when he was close enough.
Sydney caught him, pulling him close and kissing his neck until he screamed for mercy. Then he said, “Whatcha wanna talk about, Mommy?”
Dear God, help me find the right words. She took a deep breath. “Honey, do you remember when I told you your other mommy left you with me before she died?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, I just found out not long ago that I was wrong about that.”
He turned puzzled blue eyes up to her. “How come?”
“The lady who left you with me wasn’t your mommy, after all. She was not a very nice person, and she helped take you from your real mommy and daddy who loved you very much.”
Nick’s eyes were enormous. “I had a daddy, too?”
The innocent question, straight to the heart of the matter in typical Nick-fashion, cut deep. Many times she’d worried about whether the lack of a man in her life would affect her son. She nodded. “You had a daddy, too.” Then she stopped again, marshalling her thoughts.
But Nick clearly was thinking thoughts of his own. “Was I kidcatched?”
“Kidnapped,” she corrected gently, though her son’s creative word was actually closer to the truth. “Yes. When you were just one year old, bad people stole you.”
“What happened to that mommy and daddy?” he asked. “I bet they cried.”
“Oh, they did,” she assured him, her throat aching with the effort it took to force out the words in a normal tone. “They loved you very much and they were terribly sad when you were taken away. They called the police and everybody looked and looked, but no one ever found you.”
“You found me,” he pointed out.
“Yes, but I didn’t know who you were.” She ran a hand through his silky blond hair. “I just knew you were the most wonderful little boy in the world and I wanted to be your mommy.”
“And you are!”
If she weren’t working so hard not to break down, she might have laughed at his wondering tone. With a five-year-old’s lack of comprehension, he apparently thought that because she wanted him, he was brought to her—rather than the other way around. He didn’t fully realize that having a twelve-month-old infant dumped in her lap might not be every woman’s idea of a miracle. Lucky for him, it had been hers.
She didn’t say anything else, mindful of the therapist’s advice to take it at Nick’s pace. When he had digested the information and was ready to talk, she would tell him more.
But she’d forgotten the astute brain in that little head. He often surprised her with his intellect; why should today be any different?
“Hey, Mommy?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“What happened to my other mommy? Not the one who died. The other one. And the daddy?”
She realized Nick was a little confused about Margo, but since he’d gotten the gist of the explanation, she could save clarity for another time. Or Danny could, she amended, feeling the pain that was so rapidly becoming familiar fill her heart. “Well, I told you they missed you, right? The mommy was very, very sad, and after a little while she died.”
“What about the daddy? Did he die, too?” Death was an abstract concept to Nick, who’d never even seen a pet pass away, much less someone he loved. His tone was calm and interested.
“No,” she said. “The daddy didn’t die. He’s still alive and he knows you are, too, and he’s very happy.”
“I have a daddy?” This was big news. She’d bet he was already imagining telling his little pal Zachary.
“You do.”
He considered this for a moment. “That’s okay,” he decided finally. “I don’t need more mommies ’cuz I already have you. But a daddy would be fun.” He looked at her again, suddenly vulnerable. “Right?”
“Right,” she said firmly. “Very fun. In fact, you’ve already been having fun with your daddy, only you didn’t know he was your daddy.” She hadn’t really planned on going quite this far today, but since Nick seemed to be dealing with it so well, she might as well keep talking.
“Who is he? It can’t be Uncle Stu because he’s got Aunt Patti and she’s still alive.”
“Right. It’s someone who’s been playing with you a lot lately, someone who’s been spending a lot of time—”
“Danny!” Nick all but shouted the name as she nodded. “Danny’s my da
ddy!” He jumped from her lap and bounced up and down as if his legs were made of springs. “Oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy! Danny’s fun,” he informed her, as if that were the most important criterion for the role of father. Then he stopped bouncing. “When’s he coming over?”
“I don’t know.” Though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she rose and headed for the telephone. “I guess I’d better call and ask him.”
While he was in the shower, Sydney had called to tell him she’d told Nick about his parentage. She’d left only a brief and impersonal message. He had no idea how Nick had taken the news.
Danny stood by the phone in his hotel room, wondering what his son was doing. What Sydney was doing. Were they crying together? Was Nick devastated at the thought of leaving his home?
Of course he is, you idiot. What kid wants to leave everything familiar and go away with some guy he’s known a few days?
His mind immediately made the leap to Robbie Logan, torn from his family at nearly the same tender age Nick was now. It had scarred him deeply, if his involvement in the kidnapping ring was any indication. But it had scarred Danny as well. Sydney was right, he acknowledged. He had been avoiding life. And it was time he stopped.
He reached for the phone book. He had no idea how to contact Robbie—Everett now—but the Logans probably would. For years he’d assumed they hated him. Assumed they blamed him for the kidnapping.
Now, thinking of Nick, he realized how very young he’d been. Maybe Leslie Logan hadn’t been angry at him that day.
He held his finger beneath the Logans’ number as he punched the buttons of the phone.
Two short hours later, he parked in front of a shabby apartment building. Consulting the address Leslie had given him, he found the proper door, knocked and waited.
The door opened so fast that the man inside must have been standing there waiting. He didn’t speak for a moment, only stood there staring back at Danny.
He looks like his father. That was Danny’s first thought. Tall and good-looking, although this man didn’t project the air of self-confidence that was so much a part of Terrence Logan.
Everett Baker seemed apprehensive and Danny could practically see what it took him to make the social effort. Finally, he said, “You haven’t changed.”
Danny almost smiled. “Your mother said the same thing.”
“I was sorry to hear about your son,” Everett said.
Danny gauged his face, seeing nothing but sincerity. Still… “Before we go one step further, I have to ask you— Did you have anything to do with Noah’s kidnapping?”
Everett stood silent for a moment, then said, “I don’t blame you for asking.” Then he shook his head. “No. But I suspect one of the men I was involved with might have. I’ve already given the police all the information I have.”
Danny gauged Everett’s expression. He appeared to be telling the truth. “Thank you,” he said more quietly. “I had to know.”
“Everett?” A slender, pretty woman with brown hair stood behind him. “Are you going to invite him in?” Her voice was light and teasing, and Danny was astonished by the expression of tenderness that passed over his childhood friend’s face.
Everett opened the door wider. “Please come in,” he said. “I’d like to introduce you to my fiancée, Nancy Allen.”
Much later, sitting in his solitary hotel room, Danny was still thinking about Everett Baker. His childhood friend was clearly changed by his kidnapping experience. Probably the only thing that had saved him was Nancy Allen, the woman he was going to marry. According to Everett, she’d believed in him long before he believed in himself. It warmed a tiny part of Danny’s heart to see that his old friend might finally find the happiness and love that must have been denied him for most of his life.
The telephone rang and he lifted the receiver. “Hello?”
“Are you coming to work today or not?” It was Trent, sounding as if he were trying to be belligerent, but failing.
“Don’t think so,” said Danny.
“What’s wrong?” Trent was instantly suspicious.
Danny sighed. “I visited Everett Baker today.”
“You’re kidding!”
“And now I’m looking at my own life and not liking some of the things I’m seeing.”
“Such as?”
“I’m going to ask you a straight question. Answer it straight or I’ll come over there and kick your ass.”
“At least that would be one way to get you into the office again.”
Danny smiled. Then he said, “Have I been wallowing in my own problems for too long?”
There was a long silence. “Who told you that?”
“Never mind. The answer is yes, isn’t it?”
Trent exhaled heavily. “Hell, Danny, I don’t know. Very few people would be qualified to tell you you’re overdoing the grief thing. Look at what you’ve gone through in your life.”
“I know. But I think I might have had a chance to change that, and I blew it.” That was true. After this morning Sydney would never speak to him again, he was certain. Except for things pertaining to Nick.
“Ah, damn. Did you say something dumb to Sydney?”
“Why would you think that?”
“You’re a guy,” Trent said dryly. “Ask Peter, or Ivy’s king, or any man you know. We have a distinct tendency to insert our feet into our mouths frequently. Shoes and all.”
“These were boots. Snowshoes. Skis, even.”
“Go get ’em out,” Trent said promptly. “Sydney is the best thing that’s ever happened to you—and not just because she saved your son and was big-hearted enough to return him to you.”
Sydney is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It was true. And he’d ruined it. He winced as he recalled the harsh words he’d thrown at her just after dawn. True happiness was a valuable thing. Trent and his sisters had found it, so had Everett. And so had he. Only he probably had demolished it when he’d hurt Sydney.
Was it possible there could be a life with her? Did he dare let himself believe it?
The answer was like a shotgun fired right beside his ear. Of course! He hadn’t dared to let himself believe that his son was still living, and look how wrong he’d been about that. Now he had Nick back, but he would only be living half a life if Sydney wasn’t a daily part of it. And not for Nick’s sake.
She’d saved him.
He thought of the shattered hurt in her blue eyes and realized he might not get another chance. But he wasn’t going to slink away without trying this time.
Picking up the phone book for the second time that day, he rapidly flipped through the pages. If he was going to try to get Sydney to forgive him, he had a lot to do today.
Fourteen
The doorbell rang just before five o’clock. Sydney took a deep, bracing breath. You can do this, she lectured herself. You can.
“Danny!” Nick shouted. He leaped to his feet and began to race across the room. At the door, he paused and looked back at her. “May I open it?”
She nodded. Took another deep breath.
Nick yanked the door open.
“Hey, buddy,” Danny said. “How are you?”
Nick didn’t answer. He stood very still, looking up at the big man. Sydney could only see him from the back. He looked very little and very vulnerable.
Danny crouched. “So you and your mommy had a talk, huh?”
Nick nodded, a hint of that vulnerability in his tone as he said, “Are you really my daddy?”
Danny took a deep breath. “Yeah. I really am.”
Nick tipped his head to one side. “An’ you didn’t want to let me get kidcatched?”
“No.” It sounded as if Danny nearly choked on the word but he forced a few more out. “I wish it had never happened.”
Nick thought some more. “Good,” he said. He reached out and took Danny’s hand. “I have a new project for my next boys’ club project. Will you help me? Daddies do that stuff, you know.”
/> Danny managed a smile. “Sure. I’ll see what I can do.” As his son’s small hand slipped into his, he looked across the room at Sydney, smiling. She looked away.
“I have a surprise for your mommy,” he said to Nick. “But we have to take her for a ride to see it.”
Dammit! That wasn’t fair, and if Nick weren’t standing there she’d have let him have it. Then she realized he’d done it because Nick was there. He knew that she wouldn’t refuse in front of the child.
“Come on, Mommy!” Nick shouted. “You got a surprise! Let’s go see it.”
She rose from the couch and retrieved her purse from the closet. “All right.” She trailed behind the two males, locking the door and pulling it closed. But when she got to Danny’s car, he was holding her door open and Nick was already in the back, in a brand-new car seat.
She couldn’t look at him. It just hurt too much, so she scooted into the passenger seat with her head down. Danny went around to the driver’s side.
It was a quiet trip, broken only by Nick’s chatter as he made wild, ridiculous guesses about what the surprise could be. After twenty minutes, Danny pulled into a driveway with a gate across it. He lifted a small device and punched a button and the gate slid open. “Cool, huh?” he said over his shoulder.
“Cool,” Nick agreed. “Where we goin’?”
“Just up here.”
She was puzzled. Whom was he taking them to visit and why would he be opening their gate?
They drove along a short driveway around a curve. Trees grew closely on both sides of the driveway, but as they rounded the curve, the view opened up onto a spacious green lawn. Ahead of them was a stunningly beautiful house built of gray stone with lots of windows sparkling in the late-day light. It was a rancher on a small rise, but the hill fell away to the right and as they drove around and parked, she could see that there was a second story below the main level that opened onto an exquisite terrace with a swimming pool nearby.